day one
four oclock. to be exact. its funny how life changed so fast in such a short amount of time. people who meant everything to me now mean nothing. and people who i use to hate now mean everything to me. i wish i lived in the world of equalibrium. no emotions. maybe if you took out the feeling aspect of everything, things would be more logical. then i could logically face this trial of quitting head on and just be done with it all. isnt it funny when a person becomes afraid of leaving their own house because they do not want to be tempted anymore. ironic how your body becomes your own jail cell; but you can never escape your own self inflicted pain. today so far is not that bad…. i feel a slight pull in the wrong way and i can feel my mind self rationalizing the need to use but as for right now i have not failed. however, night time is the true test.
